Pranks
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Chuckling-
With a mischievous glimmer in his eye-
He plops down a big metal
chicken solar weather vain with a >ridiculously< colorful spinning thingy.
The kind that sticks in the ground
To “decorate” the yard.
>Totally< not my decor taste.
-But I must not be the only one-
:Hence the clearance sticker:
He is up to something.
.
But gives me no time to wonder before he starts to share why he >desperately< needs it.
He is going to PRANK his daughter before she gets off work.
I don’t have time to ask ~why~ before he shares how she was
.t.r.a.u.m.a.t.i.z.e.d. at a young age.
20 chickens hanging by their feet from the clothesline-
As they were cutting off the heads,
One fell to the ground-
AND RAN AFTER HER!
!HEADLESS!
The poor gal!
This story being repeated for years
To obviously everyone
Including this cashier.
…but I lived in his joy today…
Letting him share all the •juicy• details
Before the next customer arrived and he took his cue to move along.
.
You see, I love PRANKS.
Like love, love, loooove pranks.
So let me share one of my favorites…
Early one morning, not long after we were married,
I nudged him and mumbled, “I didn’t sleep well”
“Maybe allergies” I shrugged.
He sluggishly got out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen.
I held my breath and tried to muffle the giggles in the quilt pulled up to my eyeballs.
Truthfully I had been up FOREVER.
Waiting for NOW.
-But nothing-
Peaking out I could see him shuffling back to the room
With a half cup of coffee cradled in two hands.
I held in a MASSIVE giggle
In the same way men hold in farts on first dates.
-But nothing-
Passing off my coffee, I notice a hint of a strangely tight smile on his face-
He turned back around.
Then -I-definitely-saw-it- in his shoulders.
The huff and puff going for the dog.
-I sprung out of bed-
NO!
Him not listening.
-Whipping in between him and the dog-
JOKE!
-my arms out reached-
FAKE!
-Scooping it up and holding it with my bare hands-
The perfectly shaped and twisted
TURD
Just the right color
(Because it took me more than a few tries pouring and mixing paint)
-Wiggling it in the air-
REALLY!
Terrified for a half second I would have to take a bite out of it
-To prove-
A smile cracked his still sleepy face
Slowly turning into a half chuckle,
He shakes his head, the tension released.
The dog not understanding
But not hanging around to hear why
.
I need to find this customer’s daughter and pass along the recipe.
This guy deserves a payback.
.
But then again,
I probably do too.